For Want of a Candy Bar
by The Voices
Summary: okay, Legolas finds a candy bar in his pack, he wants it for himslef, but somehow, the whole fellowship finds it, and wants it, and fights over it. Oh the Insanity! R&R please!


For Want of a candy Bar  
  
Legolas rooted around in his pack for a wafer of Lembas, he was hungry! While the others set up camp, he would hide up in a tree, savoring the delicious elven treat.   
He finaly found something, but it was not Lembas, it was a rectangle shaped thing wrapped in brown paper. He unwrapped it, only to find a brown rectangular object inside, it left a mark on his hand when he touched it. he carefully tasted the smear on his finger, It was good! He took a cautious bit of the object, double good!!  
Just as he was about to savor his newfound treat, Frodo came up to him.  
"Whatcha got there Legolas?'' he asked.  
"Nothing." Legolas replied, trying to hide the candy that Frodo had obviously already seen.  
"Is that a candy bar?" Frodo asked.  
"What?" Legolas said, temporarily forgetting to hide his treat.  
"It is!!!" Frodo exclaimed "MINE!!" He lunged at Legolas trying desperatly to get his hands on the chocolatey goodness I will identify to you readers as a Snickers Bar.  
Punches landed, a cloud of dust formed, you know, like in those cartoons? Aragorn noticed (finally!) And came over.  
"What's going on here?!?!" he asked.  
"Nothing." Frodo and Legolas said simultainiously, both trying to hide the canndy bar behind their backs.  
"What is that?" Aragorn asked, seeing the telltale flash of Brown in the Hobbit's hand.  
"Is that a candy bar?"   
"No!" Frodo said, trying desperately to keep the sugar deprived Ranger from attacking them and joining in the vye for the delicious chocolate.  
"IS SO!!!"Aragorn yelled diving for the candy.  
"MINE!!!" Legolas yelled, "I FOUND IT FIRST!!!"  
"MINES!!!" Frodo yelled, "I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS!!!"  
And so another fight broke out over the treat this time encompassing three persons who vyed for the choclatey goodness.  
"Please dont fight!" said Boromir " We must save our strength for-" He then saaw the candy, and the son of the Steward of Gondor was overcome with an urge to have it, by the Valor, it was even stronger than his lust for the Ring! "MINE!!!" he yelled, diving for the candy.   
"NNNOOOOO!!!!" said Legolas, hopping up into a tree, the chocolate in his hands.  
"HEY!" said Aragorn, grabbing the elven prince's foot and dragging him back down to earth.  
"ME WANTS!!!" yelled Frodo, diving at the current possesor of the candy bar.  
"AAAHH!!!" Legolas screamed, holding the candy protectively.  
"ARRGH!" Boromir yelled, lanching himself at Legolas, and wrestling the candy bar out of his hands.   
"What is going on?" asked Pippin as he and Merry neared the fracas.  
"Why are you all fightin'?" Merry asked.  
"No reason." said Boromir, trying to hide the candy bar.  
"Okay." said Merry. They almost got away, but Aragorn swiped the cand bar from behind Boromir's back, bringing it into the hobbits' line of vision.  
"CANDY!!" They yelled simultainiously, and launched themselves at Aragorn, stealing the much desired candy bar.  
"MINE!!" Merry yelled, tugging on the candy bar.  
"I SAW IT FIRST!!" Pipin protested, trying to get the candybar away from his cousin.  
"No.." said Legolas, coming up to the hobbits. "I saw it first!!" and he snatched it away, bringing all (How many do we have fighting now?5? 6? 5 minus Legolas, right? 5 then) five of the other candy seekers down on him.  
"Mr. Frodo!" Sam said, seeing his master's fight. "What's going on?!"   
Frodo put on his best sad puppy dog act. "They... *sniff*.. took the...*sniff*.......Candy...*sniff* bar...away..*sniff*......From me!!!" Frodo promptly began to wail like a wet child. This created the desired effect, Sam immidiately atacked the others, trying to get the candy bar for his master. Frodo joined Sam in the fight, now having the advantage because there was another person fighting for him. Maybe, when he got his candy, he'd give Sam a little piece. He thought about it. Probably not. maybe a peanut with a scrap of chocolate on it? hm....  
The fight continued, Sam was standing on a tree stump, with Frodo standing on his shoulders, the candy bar held high over his head, while Aragorn jumped for it. Boromir snuck up behind Sam, and gave him a little push, causing them to topple over, and catching the candy bar as it fell. Merry and Pippin attacked Boromir, jumping on him, and dragging him to the ground.  
Then, low and behold, Gimli came over. "What is the meaning of this! I- CANDY!!!!" He had noticed the candy bar that now resided in Pippin's hand, for the moment.  
The dawarf launched himself at the young hobbit, grabbing for the candy bar, and crushing Pip in the process.  
"Help!" Pippin called out, immidately bringing Merry to his aid. violently pushing Gimli off his cousin.   
"Alright then Pip?" Merry asked. Pippin had tears in his eyes. "What is it? Merry asked, "Did he hurt you?" Pippin nodded.  
"Yes." he answered. "And worse than that! He took the candy!!" Pippin burst into tears, and Merry comforted him, al the while glaring menacingly at the dwarf.   
"Ahahaha!" Gimli cackled "The dwarf has it now!!" bad thinking on his part. this alerted everone else to the position of the treat, and brought them down on him like a flock of geese. (A/N Have you ever been attacked by a flock of geese? It's SCARY!)  
"AAAHH!!!" Gimli yelled, looking desperately for a place to hide, but finding none.  
Merry and Pippin, having made their peace with eachother, went over to Frodo and Sam, and pulled them out of the mob. (Sulfer: It's 6 people! How can you call that a mob?! Zephyr: Shut up.)  
"This is pointless." Merry said. "We're nice creaures, right? We can share amongst ourselves."  
"Besides, " Pippin said "There's only four of us."  
"HOBBITS TOGETHER!" Merry said.  
"YEAH!" Frodo and Sam agreed. even if they coldn't have the candy all to themseves, at least they were only sharing with fellow hobbits, and having four fighters extremely increased their chance of getting the candy.  
"SHIRE!!" They let forth their battle cry, and ran back into the fight, grabbing for the candy,  
Then, Gandalf came. "SILENCE!!!" he yelled in his best deep and scary voice.  
"Boys, what's going on here?"  
Legolas stepped forward, seemingly ashamed. "Well," he said. "I found a candy bar. then Frodo came. I said it was mine, he said it was his, and we began to fight. Then, Aragorn came, he saw the candy bar, and said it was his. I thought it was mine, and Frodo wanted for himself, we began to fight.Then Boromir came, and tryed to stop the fighting, until he saw the candy bar, and wanted it. and we kept fighting. Then, Merry and Pippin came. They almost got away without seeing the candy, but Aragorn stole the candy from Boromir, and they saw it, and got hold of it. Then, they began to fight over it, till I stole it from them. Then, Sam came, and Frodo went crying to him for help, and Sam joined in, and we continued to fight. then, Gimli came, and saw the candy in Pippin's hands, and jumped on Pip, trying to get it. Pip called for Merry, who immidiately helped him, but the dwarf got the candy. Then, he mistakingly let the rest of us know he had the candy, and we attacked him.Then, the hobbits formed their own alligince, and joined the fight. then you came. It was wrong. We're sorry."  
"I see." said Gandalf, contemplating the situation before him. "Boys, I think you should give ME the candy."   
Frodo, current possesor of the candy bar, timidly brought it up to Gandalf.  
Gandalf proceeded to unwrap the candy bar (which amazingly was still intact!) and eat it. "Now," he said, throwing them the wrapper "Let that be a lesson to you." he then walked off.  
"What just happened?" Frodo asked. "We got hosed Frodo." Legolas answered "We got hosed."  
"Oh Legolas." Pippin said sadly. And then "DIBS ON THE WRAPPER!!"  
*********************  
haha! See Leigha! I told you I'd finish it, I TOLD YOU!!!   
Bwahahahaha!  
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, and I do not own the mountain Dew commercial that i so cleverly tweaked to make an ending for my fic.  
Review please!! REVIEW!!! 


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